Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof
One of the things about weddings is the number of traditions that one "must" do. And as Tevye knows, there are some things that are done because they have always been done that way.
Before Calvin and I told anyone that we were engaged, we sat down and made a list of things that we didn't want to do.
-no bouquet toss- I've been humiliated too many times by this.
-no garter toss- Calvin has been humiliated too many times by this.
-no chicken dance- although polka music is part of my family's heritage, Calvin said no. We will have the "Beer Barrel Polka" (aka "Roll out the barrel" instead).
-no wedding cake- Neither one of us are big cake people, and I really don't like it. Creme brulee for everyone instead!
-no "giving away" of the bride- I'm an independent woman.
-no "Hear comes the bride"- Why is it about me? It should be about us.
-no groom standing at the alter/father escorting the bride down the aisle- We plan to walk in together
-no white dress- Red is my favorite color!
-coed bridal attendants- Why can't my brothers stand on my side?
-no matching bridesmaids dresses- Why do they have to wear the same thing?
-Photographs before the reception- This eliminates the wait time between the ceremony and the reception
Needless to say, this has caused some concern by the family, but for the most part, they are okay with it. My mom has made it clear that no one would actually think that the giving away part of the ceremony meant that my father was actually giving me away. When she has asked me about it, I haven't been able to provide an acceptable reason to why he shouldn't walk me down the aisle, other than I don't like the symbolism of that, and we do like the symbolism of us walking down together.
And I have caved on other traditional things. My wedding dress is (alas!) not red. My brothers may end up standing up with Calvin- it is even that way, and would be grossly uneven if they didn't. And the bridesmaids may end up wearing different dresses in the same color by the same designer.
Are there traditional things that you have decided not to do? What have others said to you about the decisions not to include "traditional" wedding things?
