Bridesmaid Gifts

I couldn't blog about it before the wedding (since I know that some of the ladies in the bridal party read this), but I wanted to share what I did to thank the lovely ladies who stood up with me.

Borrowing heavily from Mrs. Onion, I got a couple of small items for each woman, put together nicely and these awesome storage containers from Ikea.

Each box contained one of the following:

1 pair of earrings from Dasha Boutique, with each pair selected specifically for the lady.

1 Threadless t-shirt, again a different one for each lady, based on their own interests.
1 cosmetic bag from J. Crew
and

1 soap in a jar from Etsy seller dennisanderson, each a different scent. (I'd highly recommend ordering from Dennis- the soaps smelled absolutely amazing, and turnaround time on the order was really fast.)

Each of the lovely women seemed to really like their gift, and appreciate the thought that went into selecting personalized gifts.

What are you giving to your attendants?

Sundae time!

A friend of mine who was unable to make it to the wedding came by this past weekend to check out the wedding pictures* and see how her wedding gift works in action. (For those of you thinking about a shower or wedding present for friends- this ice cream scoop is awesome, and is definitely in our top 5 list of most used wedding presents.)

In preparation for the visit, Calvin and I headed out to get some ice cream, and I whipped up a little hot fudge sauce. Because nothing is better than ice cream and hot fudge.

Image available here.

It also got me thinking about how easy it would be to have sundaes for an engagement or bridal shower. This would work especially tasty, kid-friendly and alcohol free party alternative. Different types of ice cream, different toppings, whipped cream- how could anyone not have a good time?

To get the party started, I present to you the best hot fudge recipe:

Dahlia's Hot Fudge
3/4 c. cocoa powder (high quality cocoa makes a difference)
1 c. sugar in the raw (or white sugar, if you prefer)
1/4 t. salt
1/2 c. milk
1/4 c. butter
1 1/2 t. vanilla

Combine cocoa, sugar and salt in a small saucepan until well mixed. Add milk and butter and stir over medium heat until butter is melted. Continue stirring (constantly) until the sugar dissolves- do not let the mixture boil. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla. Store in a jar in the fridge.

As a note- the fudge sauce will be very thick when cold. (Some might say it's the perfect consistency for dipping a spoon into...) To make it easy to pour, just heat it in the microwave for 30 seconds or so. The fudge should keep for 2-3 months in the fridge (but it always manages to disappear within a week or so around here.)

*A note about the wedding pictures- I have the proofs from the wedding. I'm having some technical difficulties getting the pictures uploaded on to my computer, but as soon as I do that, the wedding recap will be on its way.

Gender roles in marriage

I read this article in the New York Times with great interest, as family and gender is an issue about which I am rather passionate.

Much of what the article touches on is the inequity in the amount of house work two fully employed partners do at home. The results discussed in the article suggest that when both a husband and a wife are employed full time, women still end up spending twice as much time as men on housework. (For same sex couples, this disparity does not exist). It then goes into some of the implications about why that is the case, and it really got me thinking.

Calvin and I try and split things 50/50 as much as possible. But my job (full time grad student, part time instructor) is a lot more flexible than his job is (8-5 in IT). This is especially true in the summer, when I work as a research assistant and am working on my own research- I can pretty much work whenever I want to, so long as it all gets done.

As a result of this flexibility, I end up being the one who takes care of a lot of stuff around the house. Granted, when it is the last 6 weeks of a term, Calvin pretty much takes over all of the household chores (cooking, cleaning and laundry), but that's only 3 months out of the year. The rest of the time, I tend to do more of the cooking and the cleaning- because I'd rather do dishes when he's at work and spend time with him when he's at home than have him wash the dishes when he's home.

Down the line, though, this set pattern could be problematic. We've talked about raising a family, and have decided that if we could afford to have one parent stay home, it would be Calvin. But I'm not sure how well that would work out, since we sometimes have different views of what it means for a chore to be completed. (Case in point: laundry. Calvin "does laundry" and leaves it in the dryer downstairs. I "do laundry" and makes sure to bring it upstairs, and do my best to fold it and put it away in a timely manner.) The whole Calvin staying at home idea was also based on the assumption that I would, after grad school, have greater earning power than him (and we'll see if that actually happens.)

Both of us really want the division of labor to be equitable (and we are continually saying "thank you" when the other person takes care of one of the chores), but sometimes it doesn't really feel that way. But I feel like I don't have much of a right to complain about it, as I don't really have any suggestions for how to make it "equal."

How do you divide the labor in your household? If you could change it, how would you?

Another honeymoon highlight

A Balinese cooking class! Calvin and I, being the foodies that we are, were really excited to take a cooking class while on our honeymoon.

We had heard about a couple of places to go, and ended up at Bumi Bali for a 5 hour cooking class, which included a tour of the Ubud Market.

The market:

Entering the market

Heading to the lower level where most of the food is sold

Everything is carried or stored in these baskets



Lots of different types of peppers!

Surprisingly, a lot of the produce is imported from other parts of Indonesia (or the world.)

After a tour of the market, we headed back to the restaurant for our cooking class, where we learned to make seven different dishes.

Calvin mixing together vegetables

Tuna sambal matah

mixing up the meat for sate lillit

A recipe for shrimp from the instructor's mother.

The food was really good- and we received a cookbook of all of the different recipes we cooked (as well as many others to try.)

Is anyone else taking a cooking class on their honeymoon?

Visiting the Monkey Forest, or Watch a Monkey Climb on Calvin's Head

One of the highlights of our honeymoon was a trip (two, actually, because it was that much fun) to the Monkey Forest in Ubud, Bali. For 1,500 rupiahs (about $1.60 or s0), you can enter the park. Another 2,000-3,000 rupiahs will get you a bunch of 15-20 bananas to feed the monkeys.

And that's where the fun begins.


We got caught in a rainstorm, and took shelter right outside of this temple.

Waiting for the rain to let up.


Snack time!



Meg feeds the monkeys

Monkeys climb on Calvin

Monkeys climb on Meg

As we were leaving, we noticed a mother feeding her baby, so we had to stop and take some pictures.



If you ever find yourself in Bali, I highly recommend a trip to the Sacred Monkey Forest.

Making Bouquets Is Really Easy, or It's Damn Near Impossible to Make Flowers Look Bad

By popular demand (and at the special request of soontobemrsc, ambrosia and wondermart, who is making her bouquet this weekend), I present to you the making of the bouquets. (For you monkey lovers, tomorrow's post will be filled with pictures and video of the Monkey Forest.)

Around 8:45am on Friday, the day before the wedding, I headed out with a carload of helpers in search of flowers. I could have contacted a distributor (or at least the manager of Trader Joe's and Costco) about ordering specific flowers, but that required a little more coordination than I was able to handle in the month before the wedding. Besides, it seemed like it would be a lot more fun to not know exactly what flowers I would get. My only requirements were red flowers for the bridesmaids, and white/cream flowers for me. In my ideal world, I would be able to include stock and hydrangeas, which are my two favorite flowers.

The first stop was Cleveland's West Side Market. Disappointingly, there was only one flower vendor at the market that morning. Fortunately, the vendor had an abundance of red and white flowers in large quantities. There we gathered together about $70 worth of mums, tulips, stock(!) and assorted other appropriately colored flowers. Having cleaned out the stand, I was still looking for a little bit more variety for my bouquet.

From there we headed back across town to Trader Joe's. (Both the market and TJ's are within 20 minutes of my parents' house. In opposite directions. Which meant we spent well over an hour just driving to get the flowers.) Another $50 or so (which includes money spent picking up a small number of groceries and flowers for my mom, as well as hydrangeas(!)), we proceeded to check out. When I very gleefully told the cashier that these were the flowers for my bridal bouquet, he talked with one of the other associates who then came bounding over with a dozen hot pick roses for me, as a congratulations from the store. (It was a thoughtful gesture, although hot pink is not a color I especially like, nor am I a big fan of roses.)

Once back home, the group (which at this point consisted of my maid of honor, her boyfriend, and me) set about to unwrapping the bouquets and pulling the leaves off of the flowers.

Note the lone dozen hot pink roses in the background.
The rest of the flowers

Following what seemed to work well when I gave it a try back in April, I started to arrange the bouquets. (Much thanks to Autumn who gave me instructions on how to use floral tape. Tape turned out to be much easier than wire.) When they flowers were arranged, I wrapped and secured ribbon around each of the bouquets (for mine, I used fabric that matched my dress.) I then trimmed the stems so that they were even, and set each bouquet in a mason jar with about an inch of water. (The mason jars were my mom's storage suggestion. They worked absolutely perfectly.)

As we got done a little bit later than I had anticipated (mostly because we got off to a later start than planned), I didn't take any pictures of the completed bouquets that day.

But I do have some non-pro pics of the bouquets in action at the wedding:

The bouquets, with me and the flower girl.

Note the stock pot used to transport the bouquets in their mason jars.

Some last minute arranging. Turns out the tulips in the bouquets each grew about an inch overnight, making the bouquets look a bit like aliens.

Bridesmaid and flower girl bouquets in action

Up close and personal with my bouquet (that's my youngest brother's hands in the background)

Would I do it again? Absolutely. I really enjoyed arranging the flowers, and didn't really find it very stressful at all. And it's really hard to make flowers look bad, since they are pretty to begin with. Bouquets were not a high priority for me at all, and since I wasn't seeking perfection (if you are, I highly recommend going with a florist), it didn't really bother me that a very small number of flowers in the bouquet looked slightly wilted the day of the wedding.

Total costs (in time and dollars):
Time: 4.75 hours (2.25 for purchasing; 2.5 for prepping/arranging)
Total money spent on flowers and supplies for 5 bouquets: about $110

Lessons Learned:
-It was really helpful to have other people stripping off the leaves.
-If we had used roses, it would have taken substantially longer to prepare and arrange the flowers as they would have needed to be dethorned.
-Tulips, while beautiful, will grow quite a bit overnight. This can leave your bouquet looking like it has alien antennas.
-Assuming you are after "good enough" and not "perfection", plan to allot about a half hour per bouquet. Perfection will take substantially longer.
-Spider mums photograph somewhat strangely.
-The best workspace is a large table or counter
-Have a compost or garbage bag ready for all of the leaves and stems
-Mason jars make great storage vases for the bouquets.
-Some flowers will break when you are prepping/arranging them, so it is best to generously estimate how many flowers you need.

We're back!

The obligatory wedding self-portrait.

And very happily married!

The pro pictures are supposed to arrive next week, but until then, I'd like to find out what you, dear readers, are most eager to hear about. Your options:

A. Honeymoon details, with post titles in including "Visiting the Monkey Forest, or Watch a Monkey Climb on Calvin's Head" and "Learning to Catch a Wave, or Calvin Totally Schools Meg When It Comes To Surfing"
B. Remaining DIY details, with post titles including "The Programs are Done, or How Not to Get a Paper Cut When You Fold 600 pieces of Paper" and "Making Bouquets Is Really Easy, or It's Damn Near Impossible to Make Flowers Look Bad"
C. All of the above
D. None of the above

I'm so happy to be back, and can hardly wait to share everything with you!